The Six People You'll Meet in a Hostel

Today was good.

I woke up at 8, had breakfast in the hostel lobby and headed to Queen Elizabeth Market (I think that’s what it’s called) which is a huge outdoor market—two city blocks! I was there for about two hours and had to hold myself back from buying heaps of stuff. The fresh produce they had was pretty incredible, too. Alison Jenkins talked me down from wanting to buy a $400 knife set. Thanks Alison. 

Then I went to the Melbourne Aquarium. It was good. It was bigger than Sydney's and had better critters--except for sharks. Sydney had better sharks. After that I went to the Crown Entertainment Complex and realized I was in WAY over my head. I don't need to own anything by Guess or Hugo Boss or whoever. So I went to the casino, went to the most expensive roulette table, and watched people throw away thousands of dollars for nearly two hours. I then grabbed some sushi and ran up to Eureka Sky Deck--88 floors up. It's the tallest viewing platform in the southern hemisphere. But I liked Sydney's "Sydney Tower" better. Then was the Victoria National Gallery. That was good stuff. Now I'm back in my hostel preparing for a night out. 

Tomorrow I'll post pictures from my Melbourne Adventures and maybe some more details (I'm running a little short on time at the moment). But for now, here's the six people you'll meet in every hostel. 

Last night I wrote this. Hope you enjoy. 

The Six People You Will Meet in a Hostel

1)      The Quiet Asian Guy:  Let’s face it, with the world’s highest population being Asian, statistically, you will see this guy just about everywhere. The Quiet Asian Guy can be young or old; it does not matter. However, it seems that Quiet Asian Guy is often a middle aged man, usually traveling alone. Quiet Asian Man will say very little; he is eerily quiet. Even if you attempt to communicate with Quiet Asian Man, he will politely say the fewest words necessary, smile, and return to his book/magazine/iPad/iPhone/computer/technological device. Quiet Asian Man also sleeps an amazing amount. He has an uncanny ability to sleep with the lights on and/or fully clothed and/or on top of his blankets. He also tends to go to bed early, even as early as 8 or 9 o’clock. Even though Quiet Asian Man may go to bed at an obscenely early hour, this does not necessarily mean he will rise early. However, if he does rise early, he will leave with ghost-like silence (some may say he possesses “ninja-like” skill). Although Quiet Asian Man may not keep you company or ask you “what’s wrong?” or “what did you do today?” he is a steady, polite, quiet, and respectful roommate.

2)     British Girl:  British girl is a barrel of fun in any situation. She is outgoing and will introduce herself. She is not afraid of confrontation or speaking her mind. Usually between the ages of 18 and 22, British Girl is not always the most attractive girl, but  has an irresistible charm to her (perhaps residing in the accent). British Girl will invite you to join a drinking game, smash down more drinks than you can count, and leave you staggering in the dust as she dodges traffic at lightning speed on her way to the club where she knows the most boys will buy her drinks. Although sometimes a loose cannon, British Girl is always entertaining, up for a good time, and an overall good mate to keep around.

3)      Happy Foreign Guy:  Happy Foreign Guy has an incredibly obvious love for life evident from his wild eyes, to his goofy smile, to his very, very loud voice. He is a Type A personality on steroids. Happy Foreign Guy will talk your ear off and always has a new set of questions to ask you about your travels, your family, your favorite food, etc. He can often be compared to a Labrador puppy and can range from the age of early to late twenties and sometimes even into the early thirties. Happy foreign guy enjoys going out and having drinks. Unfortunately, the more drinks Happy Foreign Guy consumes, the louder his already loud and voice becomes and the more outstanding his already outstanding personality becomes. Happy Foreign Guy tends to be from Spanish or Middle Eastern country. Although Happy Foreign Guy will always give you the time of day and always be ready for a good conversation (or even a bad one for that matter), he tends to push the envelope and, at times, become “too much.”

4)      Beautiful European Girl:  Simply stated, Beautiful European Girl is all of the above. She is gorgeous. She is European (and it doesn’t matter where from because, frankly, you don’t care). And she is most definitely a woman. Often a cigarette smoker, Beautiful European Girl will make a filthy habit look good and, even if you don’t have a cigarette to offer, you hope and pray for her to look your way and ask, in whatever accent she may possess, “Do you have cigarette?” Beautiful European Girl can range from 18 to late 20s and always has an impeccable sense of style. She can be either quiet and mysterious, or loud and outgoing, but in the end, it just doesn’t matter—she’s THAT good looking. Whether Hot European Girl is a great roommate, or the hostel’s worst nightmare, it simply doesn’t matter, she is a staple of the hostel scene and will always be accepted in some form or another. 

5)      Guitar Guy:  Inexplicably, Guitar Guy has followed you through nearly every stage of life. When you were young, Guitar Guy was the kid who received his first guitar for his eighth birthday and from then on, always had more friends (or at least people around him). In high school, Guitar Guy was the one sitting on a bench in the hallway, or in the cafeteria, or outside the school, or under a tree in the courtyard, playing his mellow tunes and attracting the ladies. Amazingly, Guitar Guy used the exact same tricks in college and even more amazingly, they still worked. In the corporate world, Guitar Guy always made sure he dropped a line here and there about “his band” or “his axe” or “this one gig I played.” And yes, Guitar Guy has followed you to the hostel, sitting in the lobby or common room with one or more groupies listening to his melodic tones and trading musical chops. It’s not that Guitar Guy is necessarily a bad roommate, it’s just that, if you’re not intensely drawn to his musical ability as if a spell has been cast on you, it is highly likely that you will find Guitar Guy and his old tricks, hugely annoying.

6)      Looking for Work Guy:  Looking for Work Guy is a nomad and not native to the country in which he is residing. He will tell you that he had a job in the last city he was in, but no longer has the position for any number of reasons. It is reasonably safe to assume that he (or she) really did have a job at some point, or else, how else would they have money to pay for their room? Looking for Work Guy never seems to do much. He leaves in the morning and comes back at night, but never seems to have made any progress in his hunt for work and always seems to have an excuse for why he doesn’t have a job. He has become very good at living out of his suitcase or backpack and making the hostel his home. Looking for Work Guy is not a bad roommate, but he brings little to the table.

7)      Gap Year:  Gap Year can be a male or female and has simply taken the year off to “see the world,” aka “party a lot.” Gap Year always seems to have more money than they can spend and is always flush with alcohol and keen for a good time, regardless of the time, place, or circumstance. Gap Year is almost always young, usually 18 or 19, and rather reckless, ignorant, and irresponsible. The positive to Gap Year is that they are often times a native to the land you find yourself in and can act as a helpful guide. Gap Year can be a helpful adversary or a terrible nuisance.

Cheers guys, I'll post again tomorrow with photos and fun stuff 

~Daniel